By Juan Calvillo
The holidays may bring bad memories to some, but now is the time to mend hearts, reconnect and make new, better memories.
When crafting an opinion it’s important to look for facts, figures and strong sources on a topic. The person then decides on a stance on a specific topic.
This year, in lieu of informed information, emotion has taken over the wheel for this piece.
First, a note on toxicity. The point of view in this article by no means advocates returning to situations that are toxic.
Most people by now know whether their family life was or is toxic to the mental or emotional state of family members. If members use abuse, hate or any negative feelings, the idea of mending bridges with family members like that is almost laughable.
Supporting reconciliation with those who actively try and hurt their families is not only an unpopular stance, but it’s also stupid.
What is proposed here is for people to choose to try and get closer to their loved ones.
There are many families who are estranged or simply bothered with members within their family units.
With everything going on in the world, certain values are losing their importance, and their usefulness has gone by the wayside.
It’s simple to stay mad at a brother or sister. It’s easier to not forgive a father or mother for a slight. It takes guts to do the hard thing.
Things like forgiveness, kindness and understanding are principles that more people should view as paramount.
While the holidays are a good time to try and push past prior disagreements, the idea of giving family a second chance should always be an option.
Giving family and loved ones a second chance or giving them the benefit of the doubt is an important part of the healing process.
This doesn’t mean to simply forget things. It means that both sides have to understand that forgiveness and reunion are where healing starts.
Before anything, of course, families should be safe when trying to reconcile.
These last two years of COVID-19 fueled isolation has left many families in shambles.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has the total attributed deaths due to COVID-19 at over 750,000 people as of December 6. This disease has touched many families.
It’s important now more than ever to reach out to loved ones who are still here.
The CDC has a list of tips for getting together with family over the holidays here https://bit.ly/32WmV9y.
The tips include avoiding large crowds in areas that are not well ventilated and getting tested if you show any signs of COVID-19 before gathering.
When it comes to larger gatherings of family there are additional precautions that can be taken.
“If you are gathering with a group of people from multiple households and potentially from different parts of the country, you could consider additional precautions (e.g., avoiding crowded indoor spaces before travel, taking a test) in advance of gathering to further reduce risk,” the CDC website said.
The other important thing to consider when deciding to recreate ties with family is whether there is a willingness to do so.
Often it takes one side to decide that while there was a disagreement there is no need for a fracturing of a relationship.
In families it’s often harder because of the length of the relationships. Even so, it takes a simple act of reconnection to start the ball rolling.
Will one act heal a relationship overnight? Of course not.
The holidays are a great time to mend a broken bridge.
Spring is a great time to fix a relationship. Any time is the best time to start healing.
If there is one thing to learn about life, it is that time is fleeting.
For clarity, when it comes to fixing a relationship, time is of the essence. Thomas Jefferson said it best. “Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.”